If it weren't for Jesus....I'd kill you.

/sigh.....I don't make this stuff up.

The Eagle - July 12, 2010.  Letter to the Editor

Religious beliefs offer a measure of protection

I find it amusing and ironic that the very people who try to question, judge, restrict or forbid my religious beliefs don't understand that my religious beliefs are the only thing protecting them from people like me.

ALBERT GONTER, Bryan

So I thought it fitting to write the Gonter version of "The Lord Is My Shepherd."


The Lord is my governor,
I shall not kill you;
He makes me take the bullets out of my gun.
He leads me away from knives, poisons, and bombs
He empties my magazine.
He provides me with proportional control
for your sake.

Even though I walk through the streets
of the city in plain view,
They cannot fathom my evil;
for You protect them from me;
Your rod and Your staff would make awesome weapons Lord.

Surely badness and mayhem will never leave me
all the days of my life;
and I shall dwell with the other swine in the house of the
Lord forever.