In a Dear Margo column in our newspaper (The Eagle 10/10/08) a woman with a five year old writes that she was molested by her stepfather when she herself was five. “I told my mother what happened ...... and no matter how many times I tell her, it seems she doesn’t believe me. She becomes irate and rude.”
This woman’s mother expected her to attend family get-togethers and makes her feel bad for wanting to have nothing to do with the stepfather that molested her for 10 years. Margo’s response got me to thinking in terms of what price some of us pay for the actions of others. She writes back “I hope you will sever communication with your mother which will solve some of your problems.”
For a few minutes of excitement and release, this woman’s stepfather has exacted from her not just her childhood, but her dignity and future peace of mind. The fact that this went on for 10 years is irrelevant in the price that is to be paid. One time, 10 times, 10 years – there is a price paid by the victim each and every day of their existence. While the abuser just waits for the next opportunity.
And now, some years after the last molestation took place, this woman is asked to pay again. This time she must lose her mother and her son must lose his grandmother. “Well they ain’t losing much” some might say. True to that, but it was not this woman’s choice to have to give up her mother so her stepfather could obtain a few minutes of pleasure.